A chip on my shoulder

 

I started writing this post 2 days ago. Now that the initial anger subsided, it seems so petty. Anyway, in English, if you say "Somebody has a chip on their shoulder.", it means they gets offended easily due to their past experience or personal issues. It's almost an equivalent of 피해의식. I would say that every black person has a chip on their shoulder as a result of slavery and racism. I got offended by innocuous comments from a dentist and then I realized I also have a chip on my shoulder because I felt I was looked down upon due to my imperfect English. This is one of those moments that makes me want to go back to Korea.

----

Today I went to a new dentist because my Korean dentist sadly doesn't take my new dental insurance. This was the second American-dentist experience and it was very different from the first one. 10 years ago I saw the first American dentist who was Max's, he was sooooo amazed how well-maintained my teeth were in a way that made me proud of myself and Korean dentists. Also, I was annoyed by him wasting time admiring my teeth. And I left his office feeling ripped/pissed off with a ridiculous bill, about $250, for simple cleaning. Probably it was their rent that explained the sticker shock as it was located on Central Park West. And, of course, I never went back to the American dentist. 

Today's visit was quite different although the office was at a prime location, close to CP. It wasn't named after any specific dentist and had many rooms and felt more like a corporation. My dental hygienist was very young like everyone else there and had a foreign accent. She was professional but inexperienced as far as I could tell. She took x-rays and photos of my teeth and pointed out a few issues that my previous dentist never did. She seemed too eager to find problems, the exact opposite of the first dentist. Because I was there only for cleaning and was pretty confident about my dental health, I was just passively nodding and listening. And then surprisingly she said "A doctor will see you shortly." I guess I got used to my Korean dentist doing everything. The dentist looked youngish and inexperienced too. When greeting, he misspoke "Welcome back!" I should've said "I'm a new patient." or "I'm new here." but for some reason, my brain and mouth froze and couldn't form a response. So I awkwardly smiled and the hygienist corrected the dentist. Probably this awkward introduction gave him the wrong impression and got him to ask "Are you new to the city (Manhattan)?" For the life of me, I do not know why he asked that, but, at the time, I felt it's unnecessary to declare I do live in the city. Instead, I explained my previous dentist was in Flushing but he didn't take my new insurance so I changed dentists. After this, on the way home, I couldn't shake off the weird feeling of being insulted. Maybe he thought I didn't belong to the city due to my poor English. Maybe he thought I was a FOB.